Gratitude and Desire

I am so thankful for (….) AND I still desire to (….)

For a long time now I have been intrigued with the idea of holding space for two things at once. Sadness/Joy. Fear/Excitement. Trust/Disgust. Connection/Withdrawal. Surprise/Anticipation. It may come as a surprise when you realize you are feeling the opposite emotions at the same time. It’s confusing. Sometimes having this realization can make one disregard, or count out, one of the feelings or emotions they are having and experiencing.

For example, in grief, someone can be laughing at a funny story about their loved one and in the next instant be in the deepest of despair over their loss. As humans, we are quick to judge and compare. In today’s world of being able to access everything on-line and immediately, being judgmental is so much more common. We forget that someone can be holding two things at once and each one is as valid as the other. If we see a video of a young mother, who just lost her husband, playing and laughing with her children, we may think (judge, decide) that she isn’t even sad or grieving her loss.

Or we may see someone who is scared of heights but excited to jump out of the plane; and so on. It is something to remember about others, and also about ourselves. Both things are true. Each is of equal value. This is never more true than when you are so thankful for the things you have; AND you want more. (I’m not talking about possessions)

Gratitude in the one hand and desire in the other. For both of these to be valid it has to be an “AND” situation, not a “BUT.” I am so grateful for my age AND I want to live longer. I am so grateful for my ability to run three miles AND I want to run a marathon. You get the idea. If we turned these things, we are holding at the same time, into “BUT” situations it would look like this: I am thankful for my health BUT I want to look twenty years old again. Totally different. I am scared of heights BUT I’m going to go zip lining. As soon as you make it a BUT mindset it negates one of the truths. The way to hold both things is to realize that, the opposites, in fact, go together.

Which one of these ideas do you find the most interesting? Why does it even matter? I think it matters because we judge ourselves harshly, and if we don’t realize that two seemingly opposite emotions can be true, we will negate one of them. It’s as if we need to give ourselves permission to be happy in the midst of sadness; scared while experiencing a high of a lifetime; and so on. You are allowed to feel it all at the same time. Holding space for two things means they are both precious enough to be inside the same hallowed spot. ~~A moment in time ~~ Inside you